For Michael, Mark, Liz and everyone else

who already knew this...

One of country’s hugest stars, Dolly Parton is also music’s most significant female artist

By Kim Morgan

Whitney Houston may have made the song even more famous, a humongous, record-breaking international hit, but no one, not even the talented Miss Houston, can sing “I Will Always Love You” like Dolly Parton can.

It’s not that Parton’s country soprano is technically the greatest voice in popular music, but there’s just something extra intimate and heartbreaking about her version that makes you feel the words so much more intensely. It’s not surprising, really, since the country music legend wrote the song herself (reportedly about her ex-singing partner and mentor, Porter Wagoner) and the sweet, stripped-down tune clearly means something very personal and private to her. But the song’s massive crossover success is interesting — that this wistful, pretty reflection has made her millions and millions of dollars over the years shows that Parton understands what constitutes a terrific hit song.

But that’s no surprise since Parton (aka “The Iron Butterfly”) knows what she’s doing in both music and business, which has contributed to her monumental success as a female recording artist. With 25 No. 1 singles, 41 Top 10 country albums, loads of awards and nominations, big-screen success as an actress and, yes, a theme park named for her (Dollywood), Parton is beyond mere celebrity — she’s a striking symbol of the American dream.

This slight, big-chested blond woman — born dirt poor in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, the fourth of 12 children — is one of our most prolific songwriters (I’ve read reports stating she’s written over 5,000 songs and released nearly 350) as well as one of the most significant recording artists — ever. But again, Parton’s glory always goes back to her subtly powerful storytelling voice and her beautiful, special songs, including “Jolene,” “The Bargain Store,” “Coat of Many Colors,” “Here You Come Again,” “9 to 5” and (obviously) many, many more, underscoring how little her creative output has to do with her curves, her big personality and her now campy appeal.

Parton is always quick to a quip regarding her glamorous appearance, most famously saying, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap” — but there’s nothing cheap about the artist. Never mind all the money she’s made over the years, anyone filled with this much talent, smarts, heart and soul is an unforgettable class act.

KIM MORGAN is a film writer who runs the MSN Movies blog and has contributed to many outlets including LA Weekly, Reel.com, The DVD Journal, The Portland Mercury, Salon and The Huffington Post. She was a main film critic for the daily newspaper The Oregonian in Portland and served as DVD critic on TechTV's "The Screen Savers." She has also appeared as a guest film critic on AMC's "Movie Club," E! Television, Reelz, and most recently on “Ebert & Roeper.” You can read her writing at her blog "SunsetGun.com."

Oh Habs. I miss thee.

Do you think it's crazy for me to drive up to your old house on Mansfield and knock on the door, requesting to watch the Complete Jane Austen on PBS with whomever opens the door? Cause I'm kind of tempted. It'll be just like that Seinfeld episode when George watches Breakfast at Tiffany's with the strangers who rented it first. Except with British accents. And they'll probably call the police.

Sigh.

Consider this my Dear John letter

Dear Sirs/Madams,

This letter will make no great impact on you but it's a big deal for me.

For years now, I've been a loyal consumer of celebrity gossip. I have the subscription to these types of magazines, I routinely pick up your title at the supermarket and airports, I peruse the popular gossip sites when online, I watch E! news. I gasp and share tidbits with friends about what Britney's done now and that Angelina's adopted another baby. Until this moment, I've eaten it up.

The last few months have proven more and more difficult for me to continue this way. I guess in truth it started back with the consistent coverage of Paris Hilton's arrest. Something about the way the cameras gathered around her cop car, I suppose. I have no love of Paris, her fame baffles and annoys me, but something did not sit right with me about that scene. Or any of the thousands that followed. And then Amy Winehouse. And Britney Spears. Pictures of these people in such acute pain and discomfort. I was watching E! the night of Britney's hospitalization and the feeling in my gut just worsened- watching the media attack that ambulance felt viscerally like a group of vicious animals descend on an injured prey. And now Heath Ledger.

I have the People.com headlines on my Google homepage. That's how much I have fed off this stuff. First, seeing the media display outside his apartment as they wheeled his body out on a stretcher and now the incessant updates, the speculation of his relationships, the paparazzi siege on the mother of his child, the comments by people who undoubtedly had little to do with his real, personal and deeply private life. What's happening now would undoubtedly be Heath Ledger's worst nightmare. It overshadows the legacy he's attempted to leave in his all-too-short life. I can no longer sit by and let his feeling of repulsion grow. Especially when I realized I was the reason for the problem. After all, why would you dish it out at all if I wasn't willing to pay to take it?

So no more People. No more US Weekly. No more E! Or TMZ. Or Perez. This is it, I'm done. It's a small thing and it will make no difference in the way things are until enough people make the same decision and the magazines, television shows, and gossip blogs start seeing it where it really hurts- in the wallet. And when will they- we- hit our limit? When a celebrity's child is hurt or killed? When it drives Britney Spears to suicide? Would that be enough? I don't think it would. Do you?

I've heard all the arguments. This is what the people want. These people have everything, this is the price they pay. It's fun and harmless. It's just a magazine, it's business. Hell, I've made most of those arguments myself. But the time for excuses and laziness is over. I'm sick of feeling sick to my stomach. I don't want to be part of the problem anymore, I don't want to be the reason anymore. Instead, I've decided to get a life. My conscience, my heart and my decency depend on it.

Thank you,
Judi

PS I tried to send this to E!, TMZ, and US Weekly but they don't give out their email addresses. Feel free to forward to whomever you wish. This belongs to them as much as it belongs to you.

Something That Was Awesome When You First Saw It...

For Vic, Amanda, Becks, Trendz and Buck too

Tickets for Coachella go on pre-sale in ten minutes! To celebrate this momentus occasion, I present to you "Great Dancing," submitted to me by Preston. Enjoy!

For Neighbor John, Jon (CJW), Beal

Last night, Vic and I made a very important decision. It took much discussion and a lot of back and forth. Basically, we were stuck in the age-old dilemma: New episode of Law & Order: SVU or new episode of Rob and Big?

Very different choices, to be sure. On the one hand, there are 75 episodes of SVU on during the week, but only ONE of them is brand new (Tuesday nights, last night) And then MTV's scheduling geniuses will undoubtedly play the episode of Rob and Big about 800 times over the next week, probably culminating in a marathon on Sunday where they show it over and over again, interspersed with a True Life here and there.

Having said that, we chose SVU. As much as I love them, there is no real substitute for Chris Meloni when he's in Rage at All of Society mode. We did catch the last few minutes of Rob and Big, though, and discovered:

They went to turtle racing at Brennan's! Which, if you live in Los Angeles and have not been, is fantastic. Good luck getting in now. Actually, it IS Rob and Big so you might not have a problem (love ya).

I tried to find a clip for you, John, (CJW), and Beal, but this is the only one that's up from last night's episode. If one shows up with the crew at Brennan's, I will repost- promise.



And now a little treat for the rest of you. Our big night at Brennan's about a year ago, before NJ moved to Japan and Jon moved back to DC for law school, is most memorable not for the turtle racing but for the conversation that followed between myself, Vic and Beal. Beal was telling us a story about a time she went camping with her friends. I love Beal to pieces but for the majority of her stories I tend to think "this is going to end in either a cornfield or a meth lab".

So she's explaining about this disastrous camping trip- one of the points being that none of her friends brought any water, just beer, and how absurd it was to go without WATER for a camping trip and she says it was so bad that she and her friends had to brush their teeth using the cooler water. Except she mumbled, "Had to brush our teeth in the cooler water" and I was SURE, a few beers in myself, that she said "had to brush our teeth in cooter water" and I looked at Vic who also looked at her strangely so then I was CONVINCED she said cooter water but it's Beal so I tried to shrug it off except the mental image was so... you know. I had to ask. "Did you say, cooter water?"

She looked HORRIFIED. I insisted that Vic misheard her too. And instead of agreeing, Vic just cocks her head and said "Actually I thought she said 'cougar' water" and makes this kind of paw clawing the air motion (if you see her, please ask her to do it for you. It almost killed us) which makes even LESS sense- i mean at least cooter water sounds like a legit, gross, thing. But cougar water?

Anyway. Beal maintains that it isn't the fact that we misheard her so completely that was so funny/appalling but rather that I had just shrugged it off as a Beal thing.

AAAAANNND SCENE.

The Moment We've All Been Waiting For

January 15, 2008. My last day as a receptionist! And it only took four years.

I can't believe I just wrote that. I may vomit.