For Michael

I challenge you to watch this only once. I also implore you to pay attention the priceless details in this all-to-short commercial for what looks like the crappiest instant coffee known to man. Excuse me, coffee crystals.

- The couch covered in plastic. Listen carefully- that's dear Lauren making those squeaky sounds as she langorously shifts to savor the flavor of her fake coffee.

- Those glorious infections: "De-CAFF-inated"

- Whammo! Check out the rock when she puts that cup on top of that other cup (why is that necessary anyway?)

- "My favorite time of day is night." Wow. Can we be more general? My favorite type of pet is dog. You don't say? Also I'm not sure that even makes sense. Night and day are separate things aren't they? Opposites? To do with the existence of the sun? Right? Am I taking crazy pills?

For Michael, Mark, Liz and everyone else

who already knew this...

One of country’s hugest stars, Dolly Parton is also music’s most significant female artist

By Kim Morgan

Whitney Houston may have made the song even more famous, a humongous, record-breaking international hit, but no one, not even the talented Miss Houston, can sing “I Will Always Love You” like Dolly Parton can.

It’s not that Parton’s country soprano is technically the greatest voice in popular music, but there’s just something extra intimate and heartbreaking about her version that makes you feel the words so much more intensely. It’s not surprising, really, since the country music legend wrote the song herself (reportedly about her ex-singing partner and mentor, Porter Wagoner) and the sweet, stripped-down tune clearly means something very personal and private to her. But the song’s massive crossover success is interesting — that this wistful, pretty reflection has made her millions and millions of dollars over the years shows that Parton understands what constitutes a terrific hit song.

But that’s no surprise since Parton (aka “The Iron Butterfly”) knows what she’s doing in both music and business, which has contributed to her monumental success as a female recording artist. With 25 No. 1 singles, 41 Top 10 country albums, loads of awards and nominations, big-screen success as an actress and, yes, a theme park named for her (Dollywood), Parton is beyond mere celebrity — she’s a striking symbol of the American dream.

This slight, big-chested blond woman — born dirt poor in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, the fourth of 12 children — is one of our most prolific songwriters (I’ve read reports stating she’s written over 5,000 songs and released nearly 350) as well as one of the most significant recording artists — ever. But again, Parton’s glory always goes back to her subtly powerful storytelling voice and her beautiful, special songs, including “Jolene,” “The Bargain Store,” “Coat of Many Colors,” “Here You Come Again,” “9 to 5” and (obviously) many, many more, underscoring how little her creative output has to do with her curves, her big personality and her now campy appeal.

Parton is always quick to a quip regarding her glamorous appearance, most famously saying, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap” — but there’s nothing cheap about the artist. Never mind all the money she’s made over the years, anyone filled with this much talent, smarts, heart and soul is an unforgettable class act.

KIM MORGAN is a film writer who runs the MSN Movies blog and has contributed to many outlets including LA Weekly, Reel.com, The DVD Journal, The Portland Mercury, Salon and The Huffington Post. She was a main film critic for the daily newspaper The Oregonian in Portland and served as DVD critic on TechTV's "The Screen Savers." She has also appeared as a guest film critic on AMC's "Movie Club," E! Television, Reelz, and most recently on “Ebert & Roeper.” You can read her writing at her blog "SunsetGun.com."

For Michael

I still don't understand the depth of your love for Kal Penn but in my search for a list of things to do during the Writers Strike, I stumbled across this. Enjoy!

HAROLD AND KUMAR 2

For "friend" Michael

Oh my word, something's happened to Nancy Grace!

For Michael when he's looking for "Penelope" from SNL

Um and anyone else for that matter. Penelope is awesome. Mmmkay so...

Watch here.