No Britney-Feeding in '08

It's happened, I've reached my limit. There was a moment over the weekend- I was watching the footage of Britney in the ambulance for the fifth time* and I decided enough is enough.

Specifically, it was the way the photographers were attacking the ambulance... physically ATTACKING it with cameras and I can no longer ignore the ick feeling in my stomach. It's just so...savage. Yes, she's crazy. Message received. And she taunts you and steals lighters in your presence and maybe is dating one of you and that's gross but still. The whole scene was something out of the wild, like watching a pack of thirty hyenas pounce on a wounded billy goat...and then watching the video on Youtube.

So no more. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will pass, that I'll wake up tomorrow morning Peggy-Sue style to when the biggest scandal was her choosing Wade Robson over Justin Timberlake, which we should all just accept is where this whole hot mess began. I refuse further information. No, People.com, despite what you think, I do not need to see your to-the-minute updates on Dr. Phil's special about Britney and what a source said Jamie Lynn was wearing when she heard the news, etc. etc. I find it repulsive that you have a column of Most Read Headlines and the majority of them consist of brilliant one-liners like "Brit's Dad breaks down!" and "Lynne Prays" and "Kevin lays low." I no longer care to be a party to this. It's making me nauseous.

Besides, all of this attention is taking away from other fantastic headlines I can ignore/laugh at such as "What Jessica Alba thinks of Zac Efron" (omg who cares? WHO CARES?) and Nancy Kerrigan announcing her third pregnancy (see response to Jessica Alba/Zac Efron Non-story and intensify it with secondary response "This is not 1992. So I don't care.")

I might not even read US Weekly this week. Or...not all of it. I'll only read the lame style pages! and reviews no one cares about! (The day I see a movie because US Weekly says it's good is the day I end my own life) and that last page with the bad fashion! And MAYBE Stars They're Just Like Us ("They drop their Netflix!")

I'm only human, people.



* Thank you, E! for the round the clock coverage. As always, I find your commentary on the tenacity and hounding of the paparazzi hilarious, as half your staff is flipping upside down on a cop car to get a good shot.