Tranny Cavern!

Haven't been blogging because trannies have taken over my life. First, there was being accosted by a rockerbilly tranny band outside the El Rey last night. And tonight, my forage into the world of online marketing, and subsequently the cesspool of American culture that is Myspace, led me to a circle of untold treasure.

I found a tranny on Myspace.

This is important for two reasons. 1) When you spend an hour a day trying to find people to befriend for your business' profile, so you can subsequently bombard them with reminders that your product exists, you inevitably get depressed after your 42nd profile in a row of some ghetto white girl with her ta tas hanging out and glitter banners that shout out "I cut you bitch! Live ur dreams!" (Another thing I learned from Myspace: many, many girls under 20 have babies. This whole initiative we've been trying for the last decade to get teen pregnancy numbers down? Yeah, it's not working) I would link to one but I don't want one of these girls to hunt me down. They cut a bitch, know what I'm saying?

2) One tranny does not just mean "one tranny." It means we've stumbled upon groups of trannies clustered together, living and working together as friends. And clicking on one leads to yet more trannies. Each one more glamorous and fantastic and incredible than the last. And they have pictures! I love them all! If only Christian hadn't ruined the word "fierce" for the rest of us.

Meet Syren Campbell. She is amazing. She works in Birmingham, AL and I love her. I might just ask her to fly to LA and protect me should one of these Myspace girls hunt me down and try to mess me up. And then we'd go manicures, maybe a wax (me not her). Maybe get tickets for Dr. Phil, but not Tyra cause that bitch is CRAZY. And then we are going out on the town. We are getting drunk and no one can touch me.

The whole thing almost makes it all worth it. Almost.